The Fug Girls spot Kanye Wests backup singer on American Idol: “LOOK AT THIS WOMAN. (If you can see.) She was standing there, wiggling her shoulders from side to side. Those sleeves are majestic. They look like a video game - a beautiful, hallucinatory high-fashion video game where you get to design a runway collection on the Wii and make all your Miis wear them down the catwalk, at which point they get into a giant street fight of some kind using only their hands, feet, heads, and bulbous, outrageous clothing as weapons. If Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan could’ve gotten her hands on some of these, she’d have been UNSTOPPABLE. Just THINK of all the oil leases she’d have secured, the board members she’d have fired, the expensive stemware she’d have hurled into the fireplace, and the men she’d have lured into her bed so that she could serve them caviar for breakfast.”

The Final Fugging Four

The Fug girls Fug Madness 2008 is drawing to a close and the final four are in. Sharon Stone has pummelled even the fugliest of celebs and divas alike to be crowned QUEEN DIVA SUPREME for the fug quartet. Even beating out my favourite Courtney Peldon, who despite my numerous votes, could not beat out her long lost fake foster mum - Shaz. Oh how glorious would it have been had C.Peld reigned fugultimate - alas, it was not to be. So who does Sharon have to contend with? None other than the Queen of High camp - Posh. Not that Stone isn’t camp. Hell her closet is a drag queens dream, but Posh flies under Lagerfelds wing - and that’s some batshit crazy you can’t bottle.

Meanwhile, the face-off from the other bracket has resulted in an unholy error. Paris Hilton has made it into the finals - how this has happened is beyond me. I would have thought in the last round Mischa would have blazed the P-Hilt with ease, whilst “sporting a bucket on her head”. Unfortunately no such luck - so now Paris is about to go up against the Fugliest of them all - Bai Ling. It is NO surprise that Bai and her 16 personalities have gotten this far. Sharon and Posh should be SHITTING themselves knowing they’ve got to content with La-Ling.

All in all it’s turned out rather interestingly. We have to two very distinct sides here - the Stone/Spice combo, featuring two fugstars who are celebrated for their Fur, spandex and high-camp and on the other hand we have Hilton and Bling who are clearly just fugging fugly (although one’s a little self aware, the other(s) not-so-much).

Who WILL reign supreme mistress of Fug? Personally I feel that Bai will take it, but in my heart I do hope it’s Sharon - she TELLS you when she’s going to fug it up and when she does she FUGS IT LIKE A DIVA.