I especially loved Drew Barrymore’s mouth and the most exquisite movements and vocalization it produced, the likes of which would make Jerri Blank proud. I will see every one of your movies Screw Barrywhore, even Charlies Angels 7: Angelz in da hood
A whole 8 days with zero percent internet (I had it on autopilot). It was BLISS. I am currently a healthy shade of pinky-orange and am leaving a trail of delicate snowflakes in my path (read: dead skin). Fiji was not as homophobic as I had initially suspected. And travelling around the yasawa islands was whoregeous. Nothin but a small hut with a hammock by the beach on islands you can walk around the edges of within 20 minutes. Slightly too many pink, mingin’ chav-y English bahtches for my likin’ but you get that. Also: Australians : (
DRINKY DRINKY IN MY CUNNY!!!!!! I think it’s awful that in 2009, a person can just go and grab a computer, after several coke zeros and vodkas and blog about it. THE INTERNET IS THE DOWNFALL OF SOCIETY (I had to type that four times before it had less than five ‘z’s in it. And if you’re thinking WHAT IS THAT LOSER DOING DRINKING WITH A COMPUTER ON A SATURDAY??? The answer, captain fuck-pants, is that I got snubbed, so who feels stupid now???
You know, I had no idea that “no homo” was a disclaimer, like “I’m not gay/no homo, but…”. Colour me fagget when I found out I was wrong. I thought it was a response to extreme faggotry, like “down, boy”. Ie “RA-RA AH AH AAAAH - ROMA RO MAH MAH AAAHHHH GA-GA OOH-LA-LA” And then someone smacks the offending homosexual on the quiff and says: “NO HOMO”.
Childrens: Dreams never die.
Tonight I went to the PICTURE THEATERS to see The Final Destination with my Man-friend. Only to find that it’s release has been postponed in New Zealand. THIS IS IRKSOME, as we were forced to choose between Year One and…’Couples Retreat’. We chose the latter, as the poster for Year One consisted of two characters clearcut on a light background, doe-eyed with the title in bold red type. The point is: the coming months see several more films postponed for release in New Zealand, including Jennifer’s Body, Adventureland and Whip It - which is scheduled for JANUARY 7. JAN-U-ARY - - - SEVEN. I’m not going to say anything. I’m pretty pissed about it… but there’s just not enough brocollis. There’s not enough brocollis.
I just cried in an episode of ‘Brooke Knows Best’. BUT I ALSO COOKED A HUGE STEAK. So…. it balances out… ALSO: RED WINE.
Have I told you about my neighbor???? He’s a recluse who we had never met for an entire year, until one freaky saturday night when I heard Jazz music suddenly blare at full volume at 3am. It woke up me and my roommate, who walked with me to the hallway outside our apartment. We went up to his door and knocked on it, and nothing happened. We waited, and knocked several times more, until finally the music stopped. We knocked again, hoping he would answer the door so we could talk to him. And heard nothing for about 2 minutes except for some distant wheezing coming from inside. Then all of a sudden the wheezing was incredibly loud, right on the other side of the door. We freaked the fuck out and ran back into our apartment. Tried to sleep, but ya know - NIGHT TERRORS.
So anyway, ABOUT 30 SECONDS AGO, I heard some shuffling coming from outside, so I tip-toed to the peephole in my door and looked into the hallway. He was standing outside his door, motionless, facing the entry to his apartment. I watched him stand there, perfectly still for about a minute, till I had to shift my weight slightly. My trackpants let out the the faintest of a rustling noise and his head snapped sideways facing my door directly. I fucking froze, I couldn’t move for fear of making more noise. He just stared. And because I couldn’t move, I stared straight back, for what seemed like an eternity. He then he started to walk towards my door. I panicked, and jumped backwards towards the couch and hid behind it. I HID??? He can’t see inside? Christ alive THE FEAR. I couldn’t hear anything, and waited in silence for a few minutes, and then tip-toed towards the peephole to see if he was there. He wasn’t.
CHRIST. LOOK. I’M SICK OKAY? I’m on a mixture of cold/flu drugs and some ‘generic sickness’ drugz I bought in the US. But the point is… this poor old recluse lives next to me, a PSYCHOPATH. Sorry bout ure NIGHT TERRORS i’m probably giving you dude : /
fuck off, seriously dude, i wont support shitty awards that are a PR stunt and a chance for a few select musos to get up on stage or go down the red carpet. no one cares if you have an award, and it isnt recognition by fans, its recognition by pr companies. highest selling single? most played song? be realistic. what is ur measure of success? being a band that people support, yes of course, but that isnt anything to do with awards. thats to do with a fan base, home made eps, downloading and listening from myspace and other music sharing forums, gigging, etc. look at the black seeds, and kora, and fly my pretties, they didnt need huge backing from ‘publicity’ to sell out shows and make the charts, word of mouth and their fans did that because they have a solid sound. with the money spent on that self indulgent shit called the nz music awards that just happened tonight, you could launch 4 new contracts, pay for an nz tour of at least 25 ‘unknown’ bands around the country. I’m for music, my friend. not for turning it into McMusic.
LADY. HAWKE.
Your argument is invalid.
It’s only been an hour? And she’s already drunk? BLESS. HEART U GURL.
Today on my lunch break, as I was near the beach, I realised that kites are just worthless bits of plastic that are no more fun than having a blind zit on your chin or having testicles that won’t stay put.
Kites are just so ridiculously pointless? You unravel a bit of string, run for a while and hope the wind catches whatever rainbow coloured shape your kite is and then let it hang in the air for a while, watching it dip and ruffle in the wind. THAT’S IT? There’s no challenge. If it’s coming down, it’s coming down. How is watching fifty centimetres of coloured plastic flapping in the wind any form of entertainment?
I had an urge to walk down onto the beach and have a few words to the young boy who was flying a multicoloured eagle-shaped kite on the beach. I would’ve said “YOU DO KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING IS UTTERLY POINTLESS AND I’D LIKE TO KNOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH ENTERTAINMENT YOU’RE GAINING FROM HANGING ONTO THIS BIT OF STRING AND WATCHING PLASTIC HANG IN THE SKY?” but he was about nine years old and probably retarded so I let it go and gulped my burger down.
Originally, kites were used as a means of drying wet string.
There was no wine or cake. Just a bunch of BLOCKED NOSE. Also ‘Glee’ was fagget GOLD. Except for episode 3 which stood out like a rapists daughter. Amirite? ‘Accafellas’? Just, NO. Your ass was saved by some Jessalyn Gilsig - that fagget who got fucked off a building.
I cannot find any compelling reason, not to go downstairs, buy a bottle of wine and finish off the cake in the freezer. WORK: Only 9 hours away. SHOULDA PUT A BURGER RING ONNIT.
When I’m 40 I hope to have a Money Room (where I keep all of my money), Mattress Room (a room that has a mattress at least 40 feet by 40 feet) and a Fuck Room (a room where I keep 25 year old men). (some would say Fuck Room and Mattress Room should be one in the same, but do you know how hard it is to find sheets for a mattress that large? No, Mattress Room must be kept sanitary.)
See, she gets it.
