“Claaaaaaaarrrrrrk”
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You sexy bitch, you Googled successfully. Welcome to the blog of Marshall Lorenzo.
Posts tagged "Movies"
Oct 06
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Oh yeah, The House Bunny...
An amazing piece of modern cinema. But why didn’t Beverly D’Angelo get her tits out? Oh and Rumer was shiiiiiiit.
I went to the video store yesterday to rent ‘Deep Blue Sea’, because it was Sunday and there’s fuck all on TV on a Sunday, and they finished the Jaws marathon last week and I needed a little ‘deepest bluest’. Anywhoodle, I ended up staring at THIS movie for about 5 minutes. STARING at the cover… at Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, on. the cover. I picked it up, and then put it back down. Then picked it up again, and put it back down again. They didn’t have Deep Blue Sea (WTF? AMIRIGHT?), so I left. I felt bad too, there looks like there could be so much camp in Southland Tales - SO MUCH CAMP. But I just couldn’t do it. Which is interesting considering my last rental was Enchanted.
Oct 01
Hey Bandwagon Pete, this is creepy: I was SECONDS away from posting this picture, seriously - it was meant to complete my sextet of Batty-turns caps. Marriage proposal pending till I finish jerking off over this coincidence.
Sep 29
I LOVE IT when girls dress like slutz for Hallowseve. It’s either sluttage, or you get out your best Jerri Blank wig. It’s one or the other ladies. Go read ‘I like you: Hospitality under the influence’, there’s some great ideas in there…
Sep 24
Short Circut 3: Pigs in Space
So we finally got Wall-E last week, and like every other film I managed to avoid all reviews, plot points, spoilers etc. Even going so far as to turn down bootleg copies. It was me, Wall-E and the big screen no matter what. And my God, what a DARLING little bot. I was so transfixed throughout the whole film, every shot was nothing short of gorgeous. From the dead city, to the space travel, to the frenetic hypercolors of the spaceship. I didn’t quite get the inclusion of Fred Willard, but I suppose it helped the juxtaposition of him and the new Babars of humankind. It was just so nice to go see a film where there is NO DIALOGUE for like, an HOUR. I was initially concerned about small children annoying the fuck out of me. But every kid in the cinema was DEAD SILENT. In fact the only noise was my friend Angela, who decided Maltezers were best enjoyed during every love scene, and that the funniest part of the film was watching chub-chub humanzees flail about helplessly.
Sep 18
Sep 16
Why the world needs Superman
Superman Returns is on TV right now, and I just thought y’all should know how much I love it. I’ve seen it a bajillion times, but it’s just so gosh darn beautiful, ya know? Such pretty shots! The deco! Parker! Bryan Singer really did a great job - so why are they talking about a reboot? I can understand wanting to explore different sides of Superman, I mean, Returns is pretty much a glorified homage to the Donner films, but it’s still great. And if X2 is anything to go by, a sequel from him would be really great to see. Do we really have to ‘Batman Begins’ the fuck out of every superhero film from now on? Get fucked. Let him do ONE more, and let him film it in Sydney again. So ,I can fly over, stalk Parker Posey and take pictures of Routh from the bushes. MY GOD he is so effing pretty it is making me cry. His skin is like porcelain. My skin is like anus.
Sep 14
Is this for realz? This is apparently Long Haul, fueling more rumours of Devastator…
“ Don’t worry, honey. Everything’s fine. We’re going to have a wonderful party. We’ve made Daddy such a nice cake.
— Laura Brown. I just baked a chocolate cake and am now deeply regretful I didn’t pack it full of weed.
Sep 09
“ Thought that was pretty fuckin’ funny didn’t you? Word of advice, shithead - don’t you ever wake up.
— Elle, babe, I think the same thing every time someone laughs at Adam Sandler
Sep 07
“Like that one chip is gonna make a difference… it wasn’t even a whole chip.”
Diet starts Monday.
Sep 06
