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keyboardpubes: Speed 2 is nowhere near as terrible as history remembers it. In fact, the only truly awful part about it is Academy Award™ winner Sandra Bullock’s character and performance, which was actually marginalised for most of the second half. In fact, history should remember Speed 2 as the last big budget movie to physically construct sets for a big disaster scene rather than rely on CGI. Twice so—the original set was destroyed by a hurricane before shooting was finished, so the producers wound up extending the boardwalk area of Marigot, Saint Martin, out into the Caribbean to include 35 additional buildings to be destroyed by their mechanical “ship on rails”. Not only that, an obsessive stalker of Sandra Bullock infiltrated the set and became a paid extra, only to attempt to kidnap the Academy Award™ winning actress. Bullock was also nearly decapitated by the ship’s rudder during a botched stunt shot. Never mind the fact that the Seabourn Legend is a real cruise ship that actually exists, in one of the most peculiarly postmodern examples of early self-referential product placement. Move over, Tina Fey. Quincy Jones was even involved with the production because one of the actresses was a singer in real life, and so they shoehorned a song in for her. And then British reggae band UB40 was roped in for multiple songs. And then you have Glenn Plummer, the black dancer who double crosses Nomi Malone in Showgirls, in an excellent extended cameo with a brilliantly sassy Jamaican actress near the end.  Plus you have the CGI coders deliberately subverting the film’s producers by including a 3D model of a rotating cow flying through the air during the climactic explosion of the oil tanker at the end. Co-star Jason Patric has a pretty hairy chest, too. In conclusion, Speed 2 is probably the most brilliantly camp film ever made.  9.5/10. I’ve been meaning to re-visit this movie MANY times. I remember seeing this at the CINEMAPLEX (always must be shouted), purely because it had New Zealand ham-actor Temuera Morrison. It was very exciting when he was on screen, I remember saying “I’m very excited to see him on screen”. *nods fervently*.

keyboardpubes:

Speed 2 is nowhere near as terrible as history remembers it. In fact, the only truly awful part about it is Academy Award™ winner Sandra Bullock’s character and performance, which was actually marginalised for most of the second half.

In fact, history should remember Speed 2 as the last big budget movie to physically construct sets for a big disaster scene rather than rely on CGI. Twice so—the original set was destroyed by a hurricane before shooting was finished, so the producers wound up extending the boardwalk area of Marigot, Saint Martin, out into the Caribbean to include 35 additional buildings to be destroyed by their mechanical “ship on rails”.

Not only that, an obsessive stalker of Sandra Bullock infiltrated the set and became a paid extra, only to attempt to kidnap the Academy Award™ winning actress. Bullock was also nearly decapitated by the ship’s rudder during a botched stunt shot. Never mind the fact that the Seabourn Legend is a real cruise ship that actually exists, in one of the most peculiarly postmodern examples of early self-referential product placement. Move over, Tina Fey.

Quincy Jones was even involved with the production because one of the actresses was a singer in real life, and so they shoehorned a song in for her. And then British reggae band UB40 was roped in for multiple songs. And then you have Glenn Plummer, the black dancer who double crosses Nomi Malone in Showgirls, in an excellent extended cameo with a brilliantly sassy Jamaican actress near the end. 

Plus you have the CGI coders deliberately subverting the film’s producers by including a 3D model of a rotating cow flying through the air during the climactic explosion of the oil tanker at the end.

Co-star Jason Patric has a pretty hairy chest, too.

In conclusion, Speed 2 is probably the most brilliantly camp film ever made. 

9.5/10.

I’ve been meaning to re-visit this movie MANY times. I remember seeing this at the CINEMAPLEX (always must be shouted), purely because it had New Zealand ham-actor Temuera Morrison. It was very exciting when he was on screen, I remember saying “I’m very excited to see him on screen”. *nods fervently*.

britticisms: He-he-hello! My love affair with Party Girl continues in a review and essay for This Recording. Party Girl is the most important artistic work you need to view before unveiling your soul penis to me. Please read this very important work by britticisms, or forever rot in hell/ remain in my friend requests.

britticisms: He-he-hello! My love affair with Party Girl continues in a review and essay for This Recording.

Party Girl is the most important artistic work you need to view before unveiling your soul penis to me. Please read this very important work by britticisms, or forever rot in hell/ remain in my friend requests.

‘Prometheus’ shot shows Space Jockey suits from the first ‘Alien’ Ridley Scott: “I was always amazed that no one asked who the hell the Space Jockey was. He wasn’t even called the Space Jockey. During the film they started to call it the Space Jockey. I don’t know who started that one off. I always thought it was amazing that no one ever asked who he was, and why was he there? What was all that about? I sat thinking about this for a while and thought, well, there’s a story! And the other four [films] missed it! So, here it is. And this one does actually raise all kinds of other questions, because if someone could, a being, could be as monstrously clever to create something like we experienced in the very first one – I always figured it’s a weapon, and I always figured that [the ship in the first Alien] was a carrier of weapons. Therefore, who is that, inside that suit? That wasn’t a skeleton, that was a suit. And if you open up the suit, what do you get inside it? And why were they going, where were they going?” It’s people! The Space Jockey’s are people*! Come on! Now it’s all figured out? This is one of those movies that I want to know NOTHING about. I want “QUELLE SURPRISE”! For 120 minutes, non-stop. I want smashed monocles, EVERYWHERE. *If they cast NeNe Leakes in this movie, as well as Glee. Imma be so mad, cos she would have been in two very popular franchises, and I will have been in sweatpants at 12:51pm on a Monday. Stop giving NeNe Leakes work until I have sorted my life out. You know what? She’s probably not in this movie. Probably not.

‘Prometheus’ shot shows Space Jockey suits from the first ‘Alien’

Ridley Scott: “I was always amazed that no one asked who the hell the Space Jockey was. He wasn’t even called the Space Jockey. During the film they started to call it the Space Jockey. I don’t know who started that one off. I always thought it was amazing that no one ever asked who he was, and why was he there? What was all that about? I sat thinking about this for a while and thought, well, there’s a story! And the other four [films] missed it! So, here it is.

And this one does actually raise all kinds of other questions, because if someone could, a being, could be as monstrously clever to create something like we experienced in the very first one – I always figured it’s a weapon, and I always figured that [the ship in the first Alien] was a carrier of weapons. Therefore, who is that, inside that suit? That wasn’t a skeleton, that was a suit. And if you open up the suit, what do you get inside it? And why were they going, where were they going?”

It’s people! The Space Jockey’s are people*! Come on! Now it’s all figured out? This is one of those movies that I want to know NOTHING about. I want “QUELLE SURPRISE”! For 120 minutes, non-stop. I want smashed monocles, EVERYWHERE.

*If they cast NeNe Leakes in this movie, as well as Glee. Imma be so mad, cos she would have been in two very popular franchises, and I will have been in sweatpants at 12:51pm on a Monday. Stop giving NeNe Leakes work until I have sorted my life out. You know what? She’s probably not in this movie. Probably not.

New info about Tim Burton’s next film ‘Dark Shadows’ Tim Burton: “There’s a strange tone to the movie. … It’s got such a strange vibe. And it’s not something that a lot of people necessarily know. You’re trying to do a weird soap opera. I felt really lucky, because the cast is really good. People like Michelle [Pfeiffer] grew up watching it. Some of the cast knew about it. Some didn’t, but they were all game for it — getting into the weird spirit of what “Dark Shadows” was. It has a weird sense of heightened melodrama. … It was hard to put into words the tone it was. It had a weird seriousness, but it was funny in a way that wasn’t really funny. We just had to feel our way through it to find the tone. We didn’t do any real rehearsals, because the cast all came in at different times. But there was an old photo of the [original] cast which I always remembered, so a couple days before shooting, we got the whole cast together to take a similar shot so everyone could see each other and get that vibe from doing a group photo. That helped set the tone more than anything.” Movies with Michelle Pfeiffer looking unhinged! Movies with Michelle Pfeiffer looking unhinged! Michelle Pfeiffer tilted her head slightly and stared glassy-eyed into the homo-man’s face. His legs widened involuntarily and he open-mouth cried popcorn onto his genitalia. “EAT ME. PLEASE GOD CHEW ON MY DICK, PLEASE” he wept.

New info about Tim Burton’s next film ‘Dark Shadows’

Tim Burton: “There’s a strange tone to the movie. … It’s got such a strange vibe. And it’s not something that a lot of people necessarily know. You’re trying to do a weird soap opera. I felt really lucky, because the cast is really good. People like Michelle [Pfeiffer] grew up watching it. Some of the cast knew about it. Some didn’t, but they were all game for it — getting into the weird spirit of what “Dark Shadows” was. It has a weird sense of heightened melodrama. … It was hard to put into words the tone it was. It had a weird seriousness, but it was funny in a way that wasn’t really funny. We just had to feel our way through it to find the tone. We didn’t do any real rehearsals, because the cast all came in at different times. But there was an old photo of the [original] cast which I always remembered, so a couple days before shooting, we got the whole cast together to take a similar shot so everyone could see each other and get that vibe from doing a group photo. That helped set the tone more than anything.”

Movies with Michelle Pfeiffer looking unhinged! Movies with Michelle Pfeiffer looking unhinged! Michelle Pfeiffer tilted her head slightly and stared glassy-eyed into the homo-man’s face. His legs widened involuntarily and he open-mouth cried popcorn onto his genitalia. “EAT ME. PLEASE GOD CHEW ON MY DICK, PLEASE” he wept.

Thoughts while watching the trailer for Ashley Judd’s new TV Movie ‘Missing’: A NEW ASHLEY JUDD PROJECT - 19 TIMES I WILL WATCH THIS, 19 TIMES Missing son! Missing husband! DUH! It’s A-JUDD! She has to find her family in… … OH GOD, EUROPE, YES. There will be boats! Parkour! And flipped up cafe tables! SHE IS SECRETLY CIA!?? OF COURSE SHE IS, IT’S A-JUDD, BITCH. YES CHRIST, YES. Sean Bean is her missing husband - HE IS SECRETLY THE BAD GUY, HE IS SEAN BEAN, I CAN GUARANTEE YOU HE IS SECRETLY THE BAD GUY This trailer is 17,000 minutes long. THIS IS SOME TANTRIC SHIT …Remember that Wynona Judd reference in Bridesmaids? YES - an untrusting best friend!!! “You’re CIA??? WHO ARE YOU?”  “I’m the same person I always was!!! But just more Martial artsy, perfect aim, and lots of spicy enemies!” I’m going to cry? You know, all movies could be Ashley Judd thrillers and I would not make one complaint, I really would not. NOT ONE. ‘THE BABY KIDNAPPING: GHOST PROTOCOL’ ‘SECRET HUSBAND DIARIES’ ‘THERE’S A CAMERA IN MY VEGETABLE DRAWER’ ‘REVENGE OF THE VENGEANCE’ ‘WEEKNIGHT LADY KILLER’ ‘MOTHERLY BOND: GUN ATTACK-SHOOT’ ‘ANONYMOUS KILLER #MYKNIFEISTRENDING’ ‘NIGHT FAMILY’ Pray I may one day wear pants again. I am on lockdown, ladies and mens.

Thoughts while watching the trailer for Ashley Judd’s new TV Movie ‘Missing’:

  • A NEW ASHLEY JUDD PROJECT - 19 TIMES I WILL WATCH THIS, 19 TIMES
  • Missing son! Missing husband! DUH! It’s A-JUDD!
  • She has to find her family in… … OH GOD, EUROPE, YES. There will be boats! Parkour! And flipped up cafe tables!
  • SHE IS SECRETLY CIA!?? OF COURSE SHE IS, IT’S A-JUDD, BITCH. YES CHRIST, YES.
  • Sean Bean is her missing husband - HE IS SECRETLY THE BAD GUY, HE IS SEAN BEAN, I CAN GUARANTEE YOU HE IS SECRETLY THE BAD GUY
  • This trailer is 17,000 minutes long. THIS IS SOME TANTRIC SHIT
  • …Remember that Wynona Judd reference in Bridesmaids?
  • YES - an untrusting best friend!!! “You’re CIA??? WHO ARE YOU?” 
  • “I’m the same person I always was!!! But just more Martial artsy, perfect aim, and lots of spicy enemies!”
  • I’m going to cry?
  • You know, all movies could be Ashley Judd thrillers and I would not make one complaint, I really would not. NOT ONE.
  • ‘THE BABY KIDNAPPING: GHOST PROTOCOL’
  • ‘SECRET HUSBAND DIARIES’
  • ‘THERE’S A CAMERA IN MY VEGETABLE DRAWER’
  • ‘REVENGE OF THE VENGEANCE’
  • ‘WEEKNIGHT LADY KILLER’
  • ‘MOTHERLY BOND: GUN ATTACK-SHOOT’
  • ‘ANONYMOUS KILLER #MYKNIFEISTRENDING’
  • ‘NIGHT FAMILY’

Pray I may one day wear pants again. I am on lockdown, ladies and mens.

Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this “six foot turkey” as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex - he’ll lose you if you don’t move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that’s when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, from the other two ‘raptors you didn’t even know were there. Because Velociraptor’s a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this… a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn’t bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say… no no. He slashes at you here… or here… or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is… you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know… try to show a little respect

Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this “six foot turkey” as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex - he’ll lose you if you don’t move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that’s when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, from the other two ‘raptors you didn’t even know were there. Because Velociraptor’s a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this… a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn’t bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say… no no. He slashes at you here… or here… or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is… you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know… try to show a little respect

“ I don’t patronize bunny rabbits
”
Is Heathers the best written film or what? Daniel Waters, I owe you a BJ! But you’re kind of gross, so maybe just a video of me blowing an empty wine bottle? ..oh wait… let me get my business ideas book. ‘bottleblowingslutz.com’ *lights cigar* *tosses match into money pile/cat bed*
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

(via nuyawkcityboy) “No…it’s not..me”

Sucker Punch!

Am I the only person who liked this movie? Is it because I am neither a feminist, nor a horned-up vagina-miner? Just an uber nerd who likes things to get smashed up real nice? Totally vapid, sure. But anything that has a Hammeo and Jena Malone sporting Final Fantasy-esque bobs is definitely on my ‘thumbs up (my bum)’ list.

“ If there was one thing that struck me as I left the cinema after seeing the sublime Bridesmaids, it was “Thank god, finally a film that really depicts female friendship”. Finally a film that shows how women interact with one another in real life.

Not “Phew, I guess women are funny after all!” or “That was just as good as The Hangover!”. Rather, it was a sense of vindication, after years of confusion at being presented with films that purported to depict female relationships but instead provided nightmarish parades of cliche and caricature where everything could be solved by a last-minute sprint through an airport and any emotion can best be expressed through a montage.

Are those days over now that Bridesmaids exists? Probably not - have you seen the trailer for The Vow? - but my god, what a respite.
”
Bridesmaids - movie review | thevine.com.au Five stars from me, David/Margaret. I loved this movie so much. (via Clembastow) ATTN AUSTRALIANS: Bridesmaids FINALLY comes out next week (almost a month later than the U.S) and it is being idiotically marketed as a ‘chick flick’ by it’s Australian distributor. Let’s pray to God word of mouth will help it here, so we can ALL get Wiigy with it. I usually don’t like sharing my milkshake, but this one looks SO EFFING TASTY.

(via clambistro)

!!! Written by no-one !!!

!!! Written by no-one !!!

(via theoisjonesing)

What's your number? 

Here is the description for a new ladies movie about ladies who worry about sex numbers:

A woman looks back at the past twenty men she’s had relationships with in her life and wonders if one of them might be her one true love.

Doesn’t this sound like a slice of awful pie? Well it stars Anna Faris, and it looks QUITE TASTY. It’ll probably be sitting next to Precious on my shelves, sister-girlfriend. Now watch the trailer, and imagine that instead of Anna Faris, it’s Katherine Heigl. HUGE, HUGE difference. Trust me, you will want to stab your eyes out. Now scream with me - “WHY IS KATHERINE HEIGL A THING??”. Two times in my childhood I have screamed this. Shit, even when I was a kid I KNEW, JUST KNEW that this actress was just TERRIBLE. There she was, on my TVs, ruining my Roswell. “GET OUT OF IT, YOU MONGREL” I used to scream at the screen, which of course was quickly remedied by Shiri Appleby’s adorable face. But, the second time, and probably more serious situation of the two - was discovering there was another Romy & Michele movie, and then seeing the cover on the VHS… you better believe, that’s a screamin’

“ You know what they call that useless piece of skin around a twat? A woman.
”
(via versayse)
farpointstation: “YES!!!! I’M IN THE MIDDLE!!” Will reblog, everytime. That ponum!

farpointstation: “YES!!!! I’M IN THE MIDDLE!!”

Will reblog, everytime. That ponum!

Cool 60s styles Total Film magazine covers for X-Men First Class (via madeinthedark | ifanboy) Everything 60’s all of the times please. Cervix dilating for the Total Film one.

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