I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes.  Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, “It’s fall, fuckfaces. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.”

“Three o clock in the morning,  you’re buying a pie from a petrol station – what must you always do? That pies been in the warming drawer for probably about 12 hours. It’ll be semi-nuclear. You must always blow on the pie. ALWAYS blow on the pie. Safer communities together.”

BRILLIANT. Thanks, Cunstable.

What those who decry gay marriage don’t realize (or perhaps they do) is that in arguing against it, they propagate the falsehood that there’s an inherent schism between homosexuality and virtue, thereby furthering the tired narrative of gay culture as defined by promiscuity and vice. On the flip side, in a world that celebrates the institution, the perceptive distance between being gay and virtuous collapses, and a young person can look forward to a life of commitment, father- or motherhood, and inclusion in the shared experience that binds us as a people.

There’s your argument right there. Pretty good.

folkinz: Kristen Bell is the new Cristal Connors.

Kristen Bell will star as Christina Aguilera’s rival in “Burlesque,” Screen Gems’ musical drama being directed by Steve Antin.  “Burlesque” centers on the journey of an ambitious small-town girl (Aguilera) with a big-town voice who finds love and success in a Los Angeles neo-burlesque club. Bell will play Nikki, the loose-cannon lead dancer and main attraction at the club who spirals out of control when Aguilera’s character suddenly gets the spotlight. (via)

So they don’t overtly say that it’s a remake, but fuck my cock, it totally is. This is totally another cosmic sign telling me to rewatch Showgirls. STEP UP 2: THE STREETS. More importantly, when is Step Up 3-D out??? NEED ME SUM DANCE BATTLEZ, and storylines about realising your Tru Potential by mixing hip-hop musics and classical dance whilst coming to terms with your undeniable love for the guy who mops the dancefloor.

‘Showgirls 2: Story of hope’ ♥♥♥

(via intimationsofimmortality) HEY GURL. I R D-RUNK. But trying to be cereal. ENJOY THIS LINK. It has a downloadable PDF mini-mag, WTWTA iphone wallpapers and much, much more (insert images of a spinning mini-mag and a spinning iphone wallpaper).

A fur stole, darling.

It would then hit Gisborne at 10.00am, Napier at 10.40am, Wellington at 10.50am and Auckland at 11.12am. Civil Defence says the tsunami will only be around a metre high.

Oh, only a metre high. Good, my hair should be fine.

“There are the parents who suffer deeply and genuinely, because their son (or daughter) does not love them, and who, simultaneously, ignore, oppose or attempt to destroy everything they know of their son’s convictions, values and goals, never thinking of a connection between these two facts, never making an attempt to understand their son. The world they never made and dare not challenge, has told them that children love parents automatically.” (via niki)

“Meow, amigos. I am an intergalatic sex kitten, coming to you from Planet Rrowr to blow your mind. HA HA!  I’m kidding! It is I, Jenny from the block! Assuming you live in the tool shed on my estate because otherwise we have no block for miles. Also, get out of my tool shed! That is for the lawn mower and my Marc’s embalming kit for his Learning Annex class! LEAVE!”

To those who have started following this blog in recent months, depending on how far back you went, will depend on how well you have gotten to know me. So if you haven’t, above is a link to a video which I would say, sums me up completely. Click it. Watch it. Embrace it. It is the greatest thing to have ever been found on the internet ever. With this coming in a very close second.

A word to the wise, step out of the room, your face might get pregnant. Not only does this movie have Jermaine, it has Coolidge and Angarano???! You may know Angarano as Jack Macfarland’s son in Will and Grace. Good news! He grew into a total babe - and so now I can fantasize about him. Because I was not doing that when he was 15. That was a thing that was not happening. It should not even need to be mentioned. What? Shut-up.

(via cameronr) Pharmaceutical companies attempt to dominate the central nervous system has ended up revealing how powerful the brain really is. The placebo response doesn’t care if the catalyst for healing is a triumph of pharmacology, a compassionate therapist, or a syringe of salt water. All it requires is a reasonable expectation of getting better. That’s potent medicine.

WHERE CAN WE GET THESE PLACEBOS?

1. Sam Worthington
2. 12 feet tall blue dudes
3. 12 feet tall blue dude’s giant cock
4. Combine and stir wet ingredients.

(via goldenfiddle)

Not Another Not Another Movie is an upcoming independent parody film written and directed by David Murphy. Starring Chevy Chase, Burt Reynolds, and Vinnie Jones, the film spoofs the ceaseless parody films released every year, such as the Scary Movie franchise and the works of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, and revolves around a group of filmmakers trying to conceive a parody film.