You sexy bitch, you Googled successfully. Welcome to the blog of Marshall Lorenzo.
You can relax. Turns out Ladyhawke is TOMORROW NIGHT. Meaning I got to watch 30 Rock, AND I don’t have to traipse over to Mt Eden for my brothers birthday. Again, Mason, luvya. XOXO
So there were rumours that my mother bought me an Alf phone for my birthday, you know the ones? Where it’s a large doll of Alf connected to a corded phone? Well anyway, the rumours were false. To be honest I’m not at all surprised as she never strays very far from say, tube socks. Anyway, this year she got a little creative, and bought me a record of ‘It’s a small world’ with pictures and lyrics inside. Why? “Because we went on that ride together remember?”. “No mum, that was my friend Brandon, I was lost for the entire day”. “Oh…. well happy birthday!”
“ Hated it. Too many guns and splosions. And where was Robin?
— The only other Batman Rosie has seen was Batman & Robin.
Bitch. See those exclamation marks? That’s guilt.
Mere days from arriving in Sydney, we have to prepare for a fucking dance-off. Now don’t get me wrong, I love me some krumping, and me and La Dino have a reputation for squaring off at the clubs, be it a Romy & Michelle contemporary ballad, or a tribute to Rape! the musical. This time however it was pretty serious, we entered the duo category and had to compete against 20 couples (or ten, I don’t know I was wasted). So anywhoodle, a bottle of champagne later I’m doing sex shooter finger guns and ‘walking the dog’ with Dean. I’m pretty sure it was the ‘simulated dance floor rape’ though that got us in the paper. I was pretty pleased with myself, mostly because I don’t remember a fucking thing, and also because I think I broke my coccyx - which was minuscule compared to the bruises Dean endured. Next year I’m definitely preparing an actual routine, improvising sexy moves to the LA Law theme IS HARD. Photos here.
“ S.T.D-ean
— The nickname Sydney fags have given Dean
Me + Dean + Sydney = FOUR SLEEPS
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