Extra firm hold

"Ferrero Faucet"

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:28:00 +1300

“Ferrero Faucet”

- Could actually be a pretty good drag name. It’s up there with Anne Coulter and Shannen Doherty

I just. Want. To shit. In peace.

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:10:36 +1300

Hi, Tracey Jordan here. Is it too much to ask to have a hotel room on hand so I may shit in peace? I loathe shitting at work, because GOOD GOD do we have a bustling hive of an office shitter. I should be able to make gorgeous wind-song with my Ferrero Faucet, without the goddamn prospect of someone critiquing it. Powers that be, AKA Swayze – make it happen. Also – hi workmates!

wearetheweirdos: Kenneth: VAMPIR!

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:51:14 +1300

wearetheweirdos:

Kenneth: VAMPIR!

"Some psychopaths are able to detect the emotions of others with such a theory of mind and can mimic..."

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:50:56 +1300

“Some psychopaths are able to detect the emotions of others with such a theory of mind and can mimic caring and friendship in a convincing manner, often in an effort to exploit others.”

- Wikipedia. (via niki)

Om nom nom

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 21:35:00 +1300

masterblaster:

A 85/15 chuck steak hamburger with slab bacon, caramelized onions, horseradish mayo, chipotle barbecue sauce, and toasted sesame buns,

I made this exact boyger on one of my early “here, let me impress you” dates with my boyfriend. My favorite part was the bottle of wine that he consumed while I toiled for over an hour to make, a burger. Tip: Drunk guests are happy guests

Photo

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:06:38 +1300

THINGS THAT MAKE SENSE

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:28:09 +1300

Getting a cold for the 3,000 time this year, TWO DAYS before going to Fiji. I cannot imagine any wrong doings that have occurred between February and now for me to deserve this much illin’. Last week I only pondered purchasing The Best of Married With Children - But I didn’t go through with it!

"How Mandy Moore of you"

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 12:05:00 +1300

“How Mandy Moore of you”

- Dean (via prettiestgirl) My Dean is like your Dean!
(No offense, Dean)

My boyfriend brought the cake.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:31:35 +1300

My boyfriend brought the cake.

GPOYF John Waters themed party! I went as Cry Baby, (Hence the...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:42:00 +1300

GPOYF John Waters themed party! I went as Cry Baby, (Hence the tear drop) Lazy, maybe, but the birthday girl kinda upstaged us all anyway (The McDonald’s may or may not be part of the Divine costume).

Hey guys, this is really hard for me.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:50:00 +1300

You know how in Batman Forever, Jim Carrey says “I’ve seen your mind! … FREAK”. Well, I’m having a reeeeeeeally hard time here keeping that sweet piece too myself. I’m here, and you’re all talking to me, and I’m just looking at your face and thinking ….well, “FREEEEEAK”. So let’s all go outside for some mass suicide, bouqet? WORK LYFE :( - ONLY THREE HOURS TILL SIMCITY, SIMPSONS AND SOME MAJOR ASSAL HORIZONTALITY.

THIS.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:27:20 +1300

THIS.

bobloblawslawblog: James Franco with a flamethrower. James...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:16:00 +1300

bobloblawslawblog: James Franco with a flamethrower.

James Franco with a flamethrower.

Cunt.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:45:00 +1300

You know, I’ve always said that the moment I know a girl is my kinda girl - is when she says “cunt” without the slightest hesitation.

"Don’t wear a hat or other loose clothing near the helicopter. The rotor wash is likely to blow it..."

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 20:00:00 +1300

“Don’t wear a hat or other loose clothing near the helicopter. The rotor wash is likely to blow it away from you, which may cause you to run after it, which may result in you running into the tail rotor”

- Helicopter Passenger Safety Card (via nickdouglas) I hope you’re all listening REAAAAAL careful! - remember that time I ran into the tail rotor? Well: *points to face*

GPOYW

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:22:00 +1300

GPOYW

Cookie girl

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:59:00 +1300

My dearest sweet
With your bucket of dough
You smell fantastic

FOURTEEN DOLLARS! HERE!
I‘m sorry I grabbed you
Probably bruised you

Cookie girl’s cookies
That fine Cookie Time brand
Time 2 rape

Sweet bountiful pleasure
1 kilo of chocolate chip
Gone by tomorrow morn

Lady Gaga - ‘Bad Romance’ (ChewFu mix) OH HEY...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:13:00 +1300

Lady Gaga - ‘Bad Romance’ (ChewFu mix) OH HEY LET’S TAKE SOME E AND THEN FGGT

JULIE AND JULIA STARRING MERYL STREEP OR SOME SHIT

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:24:24 +1300

JULIE AND JULIA STARRING MERYL STREEP OR SOME SHIT

"Share this with your friends!"

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:30:00 +1300

“Share this with your friends!”

- SEE THIS. HONEY, NO. I don’t want to ‘share’ your accounting website / corporate printing services / Beer advertisement with my friends. Stop trying to make ‘share’ happen - it’s not going to happen.