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Very good at pretending to be a Pirate Hooker. Pretending.
I’m not trying to be gross, but first time bottom sex is about as much of a gift as giving somebody a piglet; cute in theory, but squeely and disobedient in reality.
Source: behindthisbeard

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  1. ralphfv reblogged this from behindthisbeard
  2. extrafirmhold reblogged this from behindthisbeard
  3. ducking-for-apples said: Cute in theory, indeed.
  4. blaaargh said: i.imgur.com/tBdMf.j…
  5. cyanimator said: do people actually use that term?!?! that is fucking horrifying. my gift was bleeding like a stuck pig. REGIFT.
  6. caiteelise reblogged this from behindthisbeard
  7. behindthisbeard posted this