You sexy bitch, you Googled successfully. Welcome to the blog of Marshall Lorenzo.
And Jordan! and Morocco! And San Francisco! And Disneyland! That’s right, I have finally firmed up the travel details and am about to put down a deposit (Though I still don’t know how I’m going to pay for the rest of it in the next couple of months). So here’s the itinerary:
- Dec 20 - Jan 11: Jordan: Land in Amman, new years in Dahab.
- Jan 11 - Jan 24: Egypt: Cairo to Cairo roundtrip. Egyptian shit.
- Jan 24 - Feb 10: Morocco: Start at Casablanca end at Marrakesh.
- Feb 10 - Feb 18: US: Drink till ‘splode in San Francisco, go to Disneyland.
That’s a buttload of travel right? It’s like 10K’s worth. Money I DO NOT have. So any of you need a website? Design work? Hand jobs or blowies? I’m desperate, it’s like 12 weeks away. OMG, Disneyland. YUUUSSSSS.
…and it’s hot, like the rest of the redesign. Admit it. Go on, log out to see…
The real Gummi de Milo, “…ze rarest gummi of them all, carved by gummi artisans who work exclusively in ze medium of gummi”
Who cares because IT’S SO EFFING TASTY IRREGARDLESS, GET INSIDE ME YOU FAT FUCKIN CAKE. Oh man, all I wanted was a piece of choclit cake for dessert tonight, and then that fat fuck Bablair suggested pavlova. My mothers best friend makes it sooo damn good. Every year they have pav-battlez for Christmas, and bitch-mother FAILS every-time, awwww poor mother,
*sad face*. Anyway, I tried to make it once, and it somehow
caught on fire. I yanked it out of the oven screaming and threw it over the balcony. Unfortunately there was a group of Mexicans in the apartment below and it smash-landed on their balcony, splattering everywhere. My flaming crappy pavlova. Turns out they were sexy so we climbed down there and partied with them. The sexy Mexicans, the ssssexicans.
What’s the point in watching a Clive Owen movie, if he doesn’t look like he’s gonna rape you?
— I’m watching ‘Derailed’ and it’s shit.
When I first saw this as a kid, I didn’t register that it was a comedy, let alone a musical.
Welcome y’all! So remember
a few months ago where I entered a challenge with myself to lose 10 kilos before going to Sydney to be all fabulous and deathly emaciated? Well despite losing 9 kilos, and being well pleased with the results, I still could have looked a hell of a lot thinner. Plus the second I got back I fucked about five pizzas, two thousand pieces of peanut-butter and butter toast and jacked-off several fried chicken carcasses. WELL NOW THE SECOND CHALLENGE BEGINS. I have set my sights on Egypt and San Francisco for December/Jan and need to look BANGIN’ (more about the holiday later this week). So I bought that ‘Body for life’ book, and while it’s mostly flowery crap, it does have a nice meal/exercise planner and training examples etc. Are y’all excited? Will I be able to stay away from the White wine? THE BK? The
McDo / Trannyformers fat-fuck-fests? STAY TUNED FOR MORE FATTERY UPDATES.
I LOVE IT when girls dress like slutz for Hallowseve. It’s either sluttage, or you get out your best Jerri Blank wig. It’s one or the other ladies. Go read ‘I like you: Hospitality under the influence’, there’s some great ideas in there…