February 2011
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“That idiot Hosni Mubarak has let all his Farmville crops wither!”
– Pretty bummed that no-one on Twitter RT’d my Egypt quip. How about the following alternatives:
Hosni Mubarak has denied your request to Mafia Wars.
@HosniMubarak is now following @kathygriffin without fear of condemnation.
Hosni Mubarak checked in at Tahrir square and tagged 0...
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forwhenifeellikesharing asked: Why are you posting songs from Kidz Bop?
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“My thing with Goop has always been, if you don’t like it, then don’t...”
– Gwyneth Paltrow. Yeah Gwynnie. Don’t ever let someone bring you down - follow your dreamz, and you will find happyness™. Shit, you were in Shallow Hal!
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January 2011
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Reach for the stars, achieve your ~*dreams*~
2011 is going to be a great year, Marshall thought to himself as he flattened out the creases on his brand new Biggest Loser poster he had just mounted. This is going to be HIS year. He could see it now, jumping off the scales to embrace Alison Sweeney (That’s right, the US version, not the Australian one - dream big). But how? How does one even BEGIN to get cast in a competition like that?...
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On Sydney vs Melbourne:
Me: Sigh, there's so many negative people in Melbourne
Dean: Yes Marshall, but there's so many 'positive' people in Sydney
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“You can do things to distract yourself from the pain, and I usually find that...”
– Molls: How to get over a bro (There is no way to get over bros). Ne’er a truer word spoken. This post is GOSPEL. I cannot stress enough - drinking, drugs and WORK are the only things that will get you through heartache. Sure, you gain a few pounds and get carpal tunnel, but you will be...
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Well, I caved. I watched it.
I think my favourite part about The Social Network is how it Andrew Garfield. The part where the Andrew Garfield was touching on glimpses of Andrew Garfield was rather reminiscent of how Andrew Garfield. Do you know what was a good performance? Those twins and their pretty eyes, they were really fuckin Andrew Garfield.
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RE: What does 'naff' mean you idiot?
Ricky Gervais: Tacky, sub par, cheap, rubbish,.... you inarticulate slob
Louis CK: It doesn't make me inarticulate if I don't know cute little words invented by English gays.
Louis CK: Did I tell you my theory of why women in "Britain" are so ugly?
Ricky Gervais: Why?
Louis CK: It's because all of you "English" men are gay. Every single last one is an aidsy faggot, since King Faggot Arthur's day. Anyway, you cant just let your gay race die out so for centuries you've forced yourselves to fuck your women, but you're so gay and it's so repulsive to you, that you throw up on their faces the whole time you're fucking them. After generations and generations of constantly having vomit on their faces, British women started really looking like vomit. So now you're a no-good race of vomit-faced cunts and retarded little queers.
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List of animals with fraudulent diplomas →
(via Etranger) All I really needed was the headline alone and I did this. There is nothing I love more than animals being people:
In 1973, Florida newspaper The Ledger obtained a high school diploma from “Washington High Academy” for “Kitty O’Malley”, a cat also known as Spanky. While the diploma was deemed insufficient to gain Kitty admission to local ...
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opensurgery asked: Charlotte Dawson fucked a stripper that she ordered for my friends Mum's 50th. Charlotte is this woman's half sister - coz Charlotte's all adopted and shit and she always throws a big stink and is a complete bitch at this family's get-togethers (apparently)He was this big Maori dude and she got him in the shower of this Remuera mansion and was in there for ageees. Everything...
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Duran Duran - ‘Girl Panic’ (via...
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“Tilda Swinton is quietly shitting on everyone with a raw power unmatched in...”
– Teacakes. CORRECT.
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We really are bottom feeders...
Nikitia Keys:
Americans know about American popular culture. Britons know about British and American popular culture. Australians know about Australian and British and American popular culture. Kiwis know about Kiwi and Australian and British and American popular culture. It’s like a special bonus for us provincial types. We antipodeans, interestingly, have the widest possible spectrum for...
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“Gay subtext always makes every movie better.”
– Quentin Tarantino (via thecakesniffer) Tell me about it. It improved Inception IMMEASURABLY. You know that dream where they fly in through your bedroom window? Tom Hardy shot out of it.
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mentalmargarita:
Romy and Michelle sound-check....
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AUSTRAYA DAY!
Tomorrow is Australia Day (public holiday!) and I am genuinely fearful. I was in Sydney last year for Australia Day and witnessed the crazy that is this holiday first hand. Everything is painted green and gold and EVERYTHING is on sale. The advertising is GHASTLY. Is it like Independence day in the States? We have nothing like this in New Zealand, probably because we’re not very openly...
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Designs of Shockwave toy leaked for Transformers 3 →
Now obviously I’m a little ashamed of blgging about pictures of TOYS. But this is bigger than toys, people. It’s worse - it’s me geeking out over Transformers 3 character design. So spare me your judgery and just move along if you’re not interested. Straight followers, behold - the new villain of Transformers 3.
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“A psychic just started following me on Twitter? I don’t know how I feel...”
– Just looked at my ‘favourites’ section on Twitter, and they’re all tweets that I’ve written. This is of grave concern to me, as I originally thought it was Mila Kunis.
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Max Tundra - ‘Lysine’ (via...
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“And I’m Portia. I don’t care what anyone says - I keep them 3D...”
– Portia, 30 Rock
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Tiffany and Debbie Gibson join up for a show →
(Link via kayfabe: inothernews) A POX ON YOU, NYC! How is this fair? This is the most un fair thing I have ever read since ‘KFC no longer delivers’. I feel like Liz un-Phair! SOMEONE is getting a very stern letter about this. “Dear Island of Manhattan, until you break away from the other burrows and float down yonder, I will be sending you violent and pornographic images of...
jackintheblog asked: Is it weird that you have the same slogan as News.com.au ('from all angles')?
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therealitycheck asked: Which movie title would best depict your life story? Why?
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Michael Lohan Jr to star in movie →
Here are some highlights from news I deem most important:
He will play a drug addict in an upcoming film directed by his mother
Lindsay said “He better not win an Academy Award before me!”
This will be the first major role for Michael Jr., 23, whose only acting experience includes playing an extra in Lindsay’s 1998 blockbuster hit “The Parent Trap.”
This...
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