December 2009
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ADVERTISING:
I don’t get it. I mean, I REALLY don’t get it. You’re YELLING AT ME. STOP YELLING AT ME. You know people mute right? Also SEX and SEXY WOMEN in advertising is still a thing??
I have an idea that i’d like to pitch to YOU Burger King, because women clad in bikinis, riding horses along the beach is fucking retarded. From now on ads will consist of an attractive picture of the product, rotating...
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“What’s the difference between a hamburger and a baby? I don’t cum in a...”
– Blair. This is all kinds of right.
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“OK Guys! Who wants flavoured water?”
– Oh dad! Where’s the fucking gin???
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THANKS, FAMILY
Thanks for the EIGHT HOURS of bickering and gin. Thanks mother, for the triple attempted sabotage of my pie. THANKYOU for the Zac Efron calender. And thankyou to my brother for buying mom a bong, and then using it immediately - TWO HOURS before we’d even started lunch. If you can call ‘more gin’ lunch.
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Meri Kirihimete y'all!
From the future. Nothing says Christmas like DRUNK. I’ve had two rum and cokes, a bottle of champagne, pizza, two mince tarts, and SEVERAL Jon Bon Jovis. WITH ONLY EIGHT HOURS TILL THE PRESENT OPENINGS I AM READY TO THRUST. Pretty sure I have a plethora entertainment related presents coming my way. As for my purchases? I got way to spendy: I lavished my brothers with liqour, and I bought my...
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“Up next, some inexpensive wines for Hoda”
– Kathy Lee Gifford (via chainletter2) The REAL Kathy Lee Gifford, not the Kwiggy Lee Gifford. Such a grey area, right?
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“Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood”
– Romy White. Not kidding: I’ve used this before
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Alex Party - ‘Wrap me up’. Woah, 1996...
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Like,
It’s not even about REVENGE OF THE FALLEN. Just transform, in front of me. Shoot some bad guys, and lasers. IF WE HAVE THESE THINGS. THEN NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. Christ i’m hungover. In other news: PEW PEW PEW PEW
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Truth bomb:
I’m only truly happy when i’m hungover. I’m here on the couch, horizontal. The robots are transforming into cars - and i’m thinking: good.
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“She’s in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting...”
– TXTS FRM LST NGHT. HEY - IT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US.
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bryan singer to direct X-Men: First Class →
bandwagonpete:
yesssssssssss
TREMENDOUS! THAT’S TREMENDOUS! Also: Did you know Singer is gay? Which kind of explains ya know, casting Brandon Routh and Parker Posey in Superman Returns
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http://www.thereisnopagefold.com/ →
Web design nerd-out. All others, please - move on.
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Avatar.
Just. WHAT. WHERE IS REAL LIFE NOW? WHO AM I? James Cameron fucked my face and now I’m pregnant with PLEASURE BABIES. It’s so cliche, and you know what’s going to happen - but it’s still SO good? REMEMBER THIS: No one will see your tears behind the 3D glasses - not that you’d look away from… JUST GO SEE IT PLEASE - I GIVE IT NINE OUT OF FIVE IPODS. FABULOUS BUT...
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“Jan from the Brady Bunch movie was cast a Filette in a deleted scene from...”
– Chain Letter 2. Jennifer Elise Cox could have been in Clueless? THAT IS TOO MANY BROCCOLIS - Do you know how much I ache for J’elise Cocks? It’s disgusting, I can assure you.
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AMERICAS. NEXT. TOP. MO. DEL. IS:
WHO CARES! SIX CHAIRS AWAY FROM TYRA, NIGEL, MISS JAY AND ANDRE LEON TALLEY. FRONT ROW CENTER. Behind us: Several recognizable faces, some famous, some not so famous. That crazy-ass TY-TY hooked us UP. Seriously? It was the finale for the latest season that they’re shooting of ANTM - So when it airs, you will see yours truly, front row center channeling THIS. Actually - don’t watch it....
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Guess who's going to Tyras show tonight?
THIS GUY. It’s for the latest season of ANTM. I’m going to rape Nigel Barker.
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MY BOYFRIEND AND TYRA BANKS PART 2: DEATH BANK
TYRA BANKS: Hey you should come to my fashion show tomorrow
MY BOYFRIEND: Sure!
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“If Father Christmas can get into your house via the chimney… then so can...”
– Christianity Today! (truth.org)
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How many calories did you drink last night? →
5 Glasses of Sav is only 925 calories! …so just times that my about four. And add burger.
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My boyfriend VS Tyra Banks
Okay - so right now… at this very moment… Tyra Banks is in the restaurant that my boyfriend manages. She is dining on God-only-knows (models blood), at his restaurant RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO MY HOUSE. I have only two options: 1) Remain here, at home, calm and collected with my Shiraz and now redundant High School Musical 3 Advent Calendar (what’s the date? It’s the 25th right?...
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Dyatlov Pass Incident →
planettampon:
This is my most favourite wikipedia article.
TL;DR: Nine ski hikers went on an expedition up the Ural Mountains in Western Russia in 1959. Every single one of them died. They got lost due to bad weather, set up camp and died. Five of the hikers were found hundreds of metres from their camp, in snow, shoeless and in their underwear. Investigations showed those five died from...
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Allure - ‘Narcisse (Bestrack remix)’...
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I had Sushi. What have I become?
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Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat Mcdonalds
Don’t eat...
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“We all need to support Great CHristians Like Sarah Palin so we can put the...”
– Youtube comments. And it was only a Bill O Reilly video! Ungh - THAT guy.