January 2008
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Li-lo and Rich told me to be skinny, bitch
New years resolutions (as usual) were 1. Buy more colourful clothes, 2. Be more fabulous 3. Be more radiant (i.e. sunbeds) and 4. Drop twenty. Obviously I wasn’t taking myself too seriously, except about being more fabulous. Everyone could stand to being a little more fabulous - you know, release the caftans and turbans or something. I did however decide to seriously drop twenty kgs after...
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Lego is awesome
and Google knows it. That’s why they’re honouring 50 years of the Lego brick by switching out they’re logo. For how long? I don’t know. But it’s the hottest the logo has looked in a long time. What’s the deal with their logo anyway? It’s designer back in the day said it would be timeless, because everyone was using Times as the web-font of their choice...
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Escape from New York
Cloverfield was above average. The shaky cam was not as annoying as I had imagined it would be, and in fact created some pretty intense scenes now and then. (FYI don’t ever switch a handicams night vision on - just rely on blissful ignorance). As mentioned by another blogger - ‘Architecture in Helsinki’ and ‘Ratatat’ ? - was not expecting that. Anyway, I would...
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Daytime television forces incumbent outdoors
I was kind of caught of guard when I discovered I was sick (on saturday). But it did explain that wierd feeling I had on friday night that stopped me from going out (despite some very alluring attempts by a few good men). I mean, I was so goddam sick last year from that goddam old villa I lived in (I love you, new sauna-partment). I had honestly gotten recoveries from sickness down pat to a speedy...
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Lesson #1 in cooking
Olive oil margarine, cocoa powder and substitute sugar do not maketh a dessert. The stand against ‘Flesh and fruity convenience store’ continues.
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“aaah, I’ll have the cream of sum yung ghai, please”
– Wayne Campbell - ordering Chinese, ‘Waynes World’
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Y'all excited?
July roughly, I imagine. June US release, so let’s allow for AU/NZ typical shitty delays. Everything I’ve seen so far involving Heath is totally bangin’. Especially that little bank robbery clip they’ve been playing before ‘I am Legend’ (no babes, I did not go see that). It’s time for some hard nerdin’ to begin.
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Effective immediately
Victoria street ‘convenience store’, “Flesh & Fruity” (Bears no relation to “Morning Glory” nee “Liquor Queen”) has now switched from selling cochere Nestle products in favour of faeces bars.
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I'm ready for the floor
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Overheard in New York
Gay teen: I told her that while she's over there she has to find me a German boyfriend.
Girl: Why?
Gay teen: So he can dress up like a Nazi and we can play concentration camp fetish games.
Girl: Oh, right.
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I will haz cheeseburger
I’ve always been torn about LOLcats, on the one hand they can be hilarious/ uber-cute/bizarre. On the other hand a lot of it is just lame/childish/bizarre. But to be honest much like every dickhead who loved those old cutesy Telecom animal ads, I am actually leaning towards the LOLcats = cute side of the fence. So I figure, what the hell, I’m going to select a few ‘gooduns’...
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Not that i'm counting
But last night could have been the 17th viewing.
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Introducing Dino
This is my bestie Dean. He lives in Sydney, don’t be fooled though, he’s from Papatoetoe. You can’t tell too well because of my hideous photo cropping, but there’s actually someone holding him up. It’s pretty glorious, and one of my new favourite pictures. That’s right Dino - say it with me - ‘desktop background’. Also, is it bad that the first...
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A shot at love
I hate Tequila. I shout this all the time to people at bars, friends and co-workers. Yet somehow, not so long after my proclamations, I am found guzzling gallons of the stuff, lemon wedge at hand. Hell at the last work/client function I did a friggen layback with it. Why do I do it? It tastes like stomach acid (most of it is the next day). So anywhoodle, we had another client drinks thingee...
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My brother is a shit head
I tell him I can give him ten minutes of my time to duck out from work and meet up with him. A quick coffee or something. So he tells me he’s outside Rodd & Gunn, below my work. I go outside, and he’s not there, so I wait for a bit, and still no show. I then text him to ask where the hell he is. ‘Burger King’ he replies. I run up the road to ‘Burger King’, he’s not outside so I duck in...
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“I already have all the names picked out. If it’s a girl, Bookcase, or...”
– Cerie, the receptionist, 30 Rock
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Smash your head
I was drawn to Girl Talk initially because of the mad-ass mash-up of hip-hop and indie synthesised into jogging soundtrack gold. But grew to love him more for the little easter eggs of pop campness sampled in the very depths of his super-fast, super layered tracks. I mean I’ve been telling people since it’s inception, just how much I hated “ooh-boy you’re looking like you like what you see” or...
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The bitch is back
Y’all know I’m a fan of Heroes, but I have to say, season two was oh so very average. Finishing up last night in its final episode, I realised the only saving grace was Kristen Bell, who played lil’ Lightning tits ‘Elle Bishop’. There’s something that’s satisfying about seeing Heroes who are comfortable with their powers as opposed to those who aren’t – that was for season one, babes. If...
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Jazz hands people
No, I am not a Prison Break fan, and in fact only watched 3 episodes before I deemed it ‘not gay enough’ due to lack of soap dropping. So I’d always be the first one to shutdown the Wentworth Miller gay rumours. (I’m not much of a gossip queen anyhow…) That is, until I saw this: youtube.com/wentworthmiller
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There's only one way to melt a heart of stone
I am mortified that I missed ‘cool as ice’ last night on C4. In fact it’s becoming more and more frequent for me to miss out on the awesomeness that is C4’s Sunday night ‘drive-in’ movies. The blame falls squarely on Sky TV for lumping C4 with the other music channels at the end of the channel spectrum, channel 64. Which, yes, I get – C4/64 – marvellous. But in the last month or so,...
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Georgia rule
Is fabulously awful. I’d always been drawn to it, somehow. Perhaps the way the Fug girls harped on about it numerous times, or the incessant plugging from Julianna Rancid. So I inevitably rented it out this weekend, and let me tell you - La Lohan gets her slut ON. If they really were slamming Lilo for showing up on set late hungover or generally being ‘unproffessional’, You...
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So so homo
So I went to Sohomo for the first time last night, after months of hype from my homo-gay friends, Alex and Ed. I was NOT impressed. Lets just say was not prepared for tour de force of shame through ‘the valley of the exes’. Not to mention the gaggle of fag-bangles and Zambeshi’s. 18 year old little flitties, out-pouting, out bitching and out grinding. Flashback 3 years ago,...
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The birthing of new and very bloggy era
I’ve always objected to the idea of starting a blog. Probably for the same reason others do – the fear of no-one reading your blog and subsequently re-enforcing further that you are indeed a self serving ego maniac who likes to spout crap. But I recently concluded that people do read blogs, quite a lot actually. If I really do have something to say – something funny to say. Then perhaps this could...