I just. Want. To shit. In peace.
Hi, Tracey Jordan here. Is it too much to ask to have a hotel room on hand so I may shit in peace? I loathe shitting at work, because GOOD GOD do we have a bustling hive of an office shitter. I should be able to make gorgeous wind-song with my Ferrero Faucet, without the goddamn prospect of someone critiquing it. Powers that be, AKA Swayze – make it happen. Also – hi workmates!
Om nom nom
- A 85/15 chuck steak hamburger with slab bacon, caramelized onions, horseradish mayo, chipotle barbecue sauce, and toasted sesame buns,
I made this exact boyger on one of my early “here, let me impress you” dates with my boyfriend. My favorite part was the bottle of wine that he consumed while I toiled for over an hour to make, a burger. Tip: Drunk guests are happy guests
THINGS THAT MAKE SENSE
Getting a cold for the 3,000 time this year, TWO DAYS before going to Fiji. I cannot imagine any wrong doings that have occurred between February and now for me to deserve this much illin’. Last week I only pondered purchasing The Best of Married With Children - But I didn’t go through with it!
GPOYF John Waters themed party! I went as Cry Baby, (Hence the tear drop) Lazy, maybe, but the birthday girl kinda upstaged us all anyway (The McDonald’s may or may not be part of the Divine costume).
Hey guys, this is really hard for me.
You know how in Batman Forever, Jim Carrey says “I’ve seen your mind! … FREAK”. Well, I’m having a reeeeeeeally hard time here keeping that sweet piece too myself. I’m here, and you’re all talking to me, and I’m just looking at your face and thinking ….well, “FREEEEEAK”. So let’s all go outside for some mass suicide, bouqet? WORK LYFE :( - ONLY THREE HOURS TILL SIMCITY, SIMPSONS AND SOME MAJOR ASSAL HORIZONTALITY.
bobloblawslawblog: James Franco with a flamethrower.
James Franco with a flamethrower.
Cunt.
You know, I’ve always said that the moment I know a girl is my kinda girl - is when she says “cunt” without the slightest hesitation.








